Time may change me....but I can't change time......

I have had a very weird week. Last weekend had a crazy effect on me. I haven't smoked a cig since Saturday and hopefully never will again, and for the first time in weeks I feel the urge to go somewhere I haven't been for awhile by myself this Sunday.

I learned this week that my grandfather is probably going to pass any day now due to an abnormal liver. Even though I haven't had much of a chance to talk to him at all the last few years, I still think he is a great man and I love and respect him very much. I never really saw him drink alcohol, smoke or do anything considered bad or unhealthy as long as I can remember seeing him. I remember ever since I was in Jr. High or so he walked a bunch of miles everyday which is probably why he has lived so long. He was very involved in his church which I wish I could do, but can't. The news of this makes me realize even though I think he and my grandmother thought I was kind of strange and were probably scared to talk to me because of a tattoo, piercings, and a craving for the music of a certain purple mpls rude boy, it's only now that I wish I would have picked up a phone and tried to talk to them sometime. Now, I have to make a phone call today which might be the last time I ever speak to him. It's scary because I had thousands of chances to do so over the years and now it might just be limited to only 1. It kind of gives you chills ,you know?

I have also been thinking that I don't really do much with my time on earth. Sure, I have probably had more fun than most human beings in the last 3 years..but I get this feeling that I can accomplish much more. With this in mind, I plan to fill out an application for a homeless organization where I can either volunteer to teach a class on how to use the internet for homeless people trying to find a job, or be a help desk person at a homeless shelter for the same situation.

If anybody else is interesting in volunteering, please visit the following site and fill out an application...

http://www.peopleservingpeople.org/